"Release" is now "Reclaiming Joy"
"Release" was completed in 2020 and it held my heartache after ending a long term relationship. Embedded in the canvas were old "love notes" from a high school sweetheart, years of journal pages that outlined my deepest relationship fears, mementos from the past that needed to be let go. This painting was a journey and a vessel for my pain, and after 6 years I finally transformed it into a new work; truly letting go of the past. "Reclaiming Joy" is my ode to my own happiness, to finding myself and finding joy again.
"Renew" is now "I Depart as Air"
"Renew" was completed on April 3, 2021 after three months of work on this 48x48 inch canvas.
While layering and removing paint and artifacts into this work, I was deliberating on what it means for us to reconnect; with ourselves, with our friends or loved ones, with people from our past, with beauty in the world around us. In personal relationships we may lose our sense of self and need to find it again, we may put others first, and we may lose sight of our needs in the process. This work was also a journey into exploring what it means to love again; loving yourself and bringing your best self to your partnerships/friendships/platonic relationships. By incorporating bits and pieces of my personal journal pages, reusing parts of the canvas that were scraped off in previous studio sessions, I am creating a physical manifestation of what it is like to leave little parts of yourself with the people you meet. As I worked on this, I kept thinking about how it's ok to be vulnerable and to allow people to see parts of you that you normally wish to hide. I was also thinking about how it's ok to be "soft" because that takes courage. The color palette changed throughout the various layers put into this work, but ultimately these soft pastel colors emerged, inspired by spring, the refreshing change of seasons and new beginnings. In 2025, I revisited this work and worked in iconography of a skull with wings; thinking about what it means to renew life after death. Each painting in this original series had allowed me to grieve part of myself and shed what I no longer needed. These paintings have grown with me over time.
While layering and removing paint and artifacts into this work, I was deliberating on what it means for us to reconnect; with ourselves, with our friends or loved ones, with people from our past, with beauty in the world around us. In personal relationships we may lose our sense of self and need to find it again, we may put others first, and we may lose sight of our needs in the process. This work was also a journey into exploring what it means to love again; loving yourself and bringing your best self to your partnerships/friendships/platonic relationships. By incorporating bits and pieces of my personal journal pages, reusing parts of the canvas that were scraped off in previous studio sessions, I am creating a physical manifestation of what it is like to leave little parts of yourself with the people you meet. As I worked on this, I kept thinking about how it's ok to be vulnerable and to allow people to see parts of you that you normally wish to hide. I was also thinking about how it's ok to be "soft" because that takes courage. The color palette changed throughout the various layers put into this work, but ultimately these soft pastel colors emerged, inspired by spring, the refreshing change of seasons and new beginnings. In 2025, I revisited this work and worked in iconography of a skull with wings; thinking about what it means to renew life after death. Each painting in this original series had allowed me to grieve part of myself and shed what I no longer needed. These paintings have grown with me over time.
"Transform"
I began work on this 48x48 inch canvas on Nov. 15, 2021 with the words "Release, Renew, Transform" painted directly onto the surface. I added more artifacts from past relationships, memories in the form of concert tickets, business cards that were accumulated from places I've visited, poetry book pages etc. These tangible memories were then covered up. I felt the need to remove these items from where they had been stored to make physical space for new memories to grow and thrive. Through layering and then removing areas of the canvas I am able to continue to hide and reveal parts of my past and grieve the past. This stage I am in is like a cocoon and I feel once this work is complete, I will emerge, forever transformed. The last photo is the finished piece, titled "Transform", which was completed in 2022.
